Best Muscle Cars
The Worst Muscle car Mods
By Dave Ashton
Performing mods on a muscle car is as old as the breed itself. It’s not just about the mechanical upgrades to make things faster and more reliable, but also the aesthetic. Usually this means tweaking design elements, so the body is more streamlined and uniform. However, some attempts at this procedure can go as wrong as a Hollywood star who’s had too much plastic surgery.
The other analogy could be those kids in school who just simply could not draw or create artwork. We either have it or we don’t. These are usually the type who with the best intentions, want to improve the look of a vehicle, but the process goes drastically wrong. A blast of inspiration, thousands of dollars later and months down the road results in an aberration, rather than a bespoke masterpiece.
Hopefully, some of these examples will give you inspiration as what not to do and the realization that the original car designers got in most cases the original designs pretty much spot on. Just to be upfront, you may need extensively shaded eyewear or a barf bag before viewing the following items.
The Proboscis Monkey Muscle Car
We featured this rather creative design in an article some time ago, which had uncanny similarities to a Proboscis Monkey. Underneath somewhere is a Pontiac Trans Am Firebird, which has clearly had a good amount of pennies spent on it in the past and was originally for sale for €14,500.
Each to their own when it comes to car taste, but some designs have a unanimous thumbs down. At the least, the pearlessence red paint job looks good quality, even if it does now remind me of a Baboon’s ass in heat.
I’m Exhausted….
The Mercury Grand Marquis maybe crow barred into the muscle car category, but this example shows the extremes of large exhausts. In reality, it may not even be the exhaust system. It could be an improvised rainmaking machine or one of those confetti cannons you see at concert.
Big exhausts equal a cool exhaust note, but there is a cut-off point. The cut-off point on this car should be right at the headers, which would at least make it driveable without sounding like two whales in conversation.
Abstract Car Designs
I simply have no idea what this car is, was meant to be or is trying to emulate. It strikes me as an abstract splat, with some fins, but just like those weird looking fish you see at the bottom of the ocean, it must have its purpose. Maybe it’s an art piece with an untold message or exactly as the designer intended. Whatever the reasonings, my brain simply doesn’t compute.
The Unicorn Mustang
Unicorns are lucky, right? So, why not turn a vintage Mustang into one and drag a trailer behind it. This is exactly the thought process with this Mustang, having a huge silver horn on the hood, silver and purple birds wing slapped onto the rear quarters and a psychedelic horsey color scheme.
If you look closely, the Unicon’s head on the front fender is meant to blend in with the huge horn on the hood. But, this would mean in real life the unicorn would have a horn that slanted off at 45 degrees. Better luck next time.
A GTO Too Far
When we first started this website, this was one of the first images we came across of a muscle car mod. At first it seems cool to have stacked up superchargers, but this thing is about as practical as a chocolate fireguard. It’s just the simple fact of having a tower of metal blocking your view, unbalancing the car and wanting to constantly rip itself free from the engine block.
If you’re going to go to the lengths and expense of stacking up superchargers like this, strap on some mini guns, huge rear wing and make it as outlandish as the supercharged stack. The shame here is that without the superchargers, this could be a great looking car. In this example, at least the changes can be easily reversed.
The Camaro Limo No-No
While other lists of this type highlight oversized donk cars, cars trying to be trucks, loud paint jobs and botched body kits. This example is to show that you should never turn a regular car into a limo.
Even when visually a car makes you slightly nauseous, if it can at least drive, it has some worth. When a car is always in danger of snapping in half at a moments notice, it’s time and expense down the drain. This Camaro was probably a good runner once in its life. Now it’s a disappointing mess that no one will buy, unless you want to turn it into a small, static motor home or lengthy garden shed. This Camaro is a whole heap of wrong and could of had the money and time spent on a few upgrades to make it a good everyday runner. Shame on you.
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