Fast muscle plane?

By Mark Weisseg

Back in 1958 America was in a bit of a recession. Everyday life was a bit slow and boring. Some called our President boring too. The big hot rod era was on hold as the car makers were building huge cars with huge fins. Even the famous 1957 Chevy that we all adore today was changed to a boxy car and that was nothing like the 57.

So, you are driving down a lonely dark road one evening when all of a sudden a large airplane is sitting on the road. You slam on the drum brakes and the car rips into the huge troop carrier plane. Nobody on the plane was hurt but the car and the airplane were heavily damaged.

Now, this is before cell phones and cell cameras so immediate notice was not possible. Can you imagine going home and calling your insurance agent? Hello, I just hit an airplane! I am quite sure the agent asked how much booze was consumed that afternoon before that person made that call. Once the shock and awe was over and the agent believed you, the real fun began.

You would be the only person in the world who could claim and prove you drove your car into a troop carrier on a highway. One might think that it would bring you fame and fortune. It didn’t. Today however, you would get your own TV show. How to make an ass out of yourself. The ratings would be through the roof. Everyone would laugh at jackasses doing stupid things like sled riding off a house or roller blading behind a motorcycle. You know they are going to crash and get hit in the nuts but you watch anyway. Why not?

Times have changed a lot. Our fast muscle cars have changed so much it’s like they belong on another planet. Today, we live in the instant gratification world. We had trunks on our cars back then. Now we have hatches. We locked our doors by pushing a little button down. Now we use a key fob. Go to a mall and all you hear are beeping sounds of cars being locked or unlocked. It’s maddening. Our cars then sounded mean and nasty.

Now they chirp like little baby sparrows. What once was a private matter now is public information in seconds. Our classics had stick shifts and anyone who drove them knew how to shift. Today they don’t shift. They barely even steer with lane avoidance systems. Today you barely even brake as the new cars sense your distance. Today you would have stopped before hitting the troop carrier. It would have been a good laugh and got 15 seconds on the news but forgotten rather quickly. Does this make you want the old days back again like me?

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