Muscle Car

Why This Porsche Will Never Be As Good As An American Classic.

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By Mark Weisseg

I was in Amelia Island, Florida and stumbled out of the overpriced hotel to spot this in the parking lot. Lots of people hanging around it saying nice things. I strolled up and kept my big mouth shut for once, well at least for the short term. Yes, it was restored nicely and yes it was going to the auction in a week down there so I hope it sold at a good price.

However, I worked and drove these little cars at one time. As a matter of fact I had a friend that switched careers years ago and focused on working on only foreign cars. He saw the wave coming and decided he would get going and be the local expert. His idea worked and he did quite well in the coming years.

Now, I am standing there looking at this pee(a) green paint and the yellow headlights and everyone around me is orgasmic.
Finally, a guy turned to me and asked me if I liked it. I replied No to a stunned group including the proud owner.

I explained I loved all cars and trucks and I was quite sure it was a great little car in Germany. So, what’s the problem I am asked and what are my credentials for going against the waves.

I explain my 40 plus years in the gas and diesel business. I tell them all the short story of working on them, driving them, supervising others who worked on all brands and so on. But, it was short as I did not want anyone falling asleep standing up. But as I gazed at the crowd around the car I noticed I was getting dirty looks and stares that would slice right through you.

Now, I am worried I over stepped my bounds. I should shut up and run as fast as possible down the alley and hide in the garbage cans until night fall. However, I am in this deep and have made zero friends at this point so why not go a bit further and see if I can make my point.

So, the owner graciously but sternly asked me to explain myself.
I said when I start any of my classic cars they should not be like an engine trying to come out of the boot. When you start this high end Porsche it sounds like a VW 411 or a VW bug.

If I spent all this money to buy a classic like this and then tons more to restore it I want it to sound better than a washing machine. The Porsche engine in that car sounds like your everyday bug.
The car is not known for a great ride as it it is low to the ground and quite frankly, it’s slow. At this point I here crickets and feathers hitting the ground as they all stare at me. I am in this deep so one more jab won’t hurt.

Then I said I thought they were ugly. Like a jelly bean. Did I just hear a gasp?
Yes, the wife of one of the on lookers just gasped but I stood my ground and said ‘nothing personal, dear man’ but you asked.
At that point I spun around to find my exit plan and exited stage left to get away from what may turn into a mob with a bunch of old men beating me with there walking sticks. Then the owner walked over to me. He thanked me for my honesty but said we agree to disagree. Then, he got into the jelly bean and turned her over.

Yep, a VW bug sounding engine and off she went with a puff of blue smoke. After it left one guy turned to me and said he agreed with everything I said but was afraid to say so. I nodded and smiled and walked away to safe grounds and never saw the little jelly bean again. But, that night I wanted to sleep with one eye open just in case.

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